Beautiful Passing

Awaiting the sadness of a beautiful passing....

2008-05-14T19:01:00.003-06:00

Death is but a peaceful, beautiful passing an adventurous journey. Death brings peace and rids pain. Death is sad for those who feel left behind and relief for those who can't stay here any longer.

I know that my grandpa has made peace with the death and he is ready to travel on; however that doesn't make me any less sad to see him go... I can tell myself that "it is meant to be" "He will no longer be in pain" "this is what he wants" "he lived a fulfilling life" etc. But the deep sadness and loss doesn't go away. I didn't expect this to be this hard.

My grandfather is such an amazing man and I realize that life tends to get in the way of spending time with our elders... Hindsight is always 20/20 and it is always too late before we stop and reflect on the lack of time we make in our lives for those important to us.

"Time is precious" "You don't know what you have until it's gone" "Live for today, not tomorrow" - such stupid cliches each with such important meaning..... We hear these things so often that we forget why they are said in the first place.

My grandpa is stubborn and even in his adventure to death will not go easily. The hospice doesn't know how or why he is still alive. His pupils are now fixed and his body shutting down, but they have no idea why it is taking so long - I know why - Grandpa is always trying to surprise people and he is stubborn.

I have said my peace and so have Ron and the girls - but I know that once he has finally left us I will no doubt cry simply because the possibility of seeing him here on earth is no longer here.

I am thankful that he lived long enough for the girls to remember him. It is a sad struggle for Amber that she was so young when her grandpa Dave died. Memories are such an important part of life.

The other awakening for me is seeing a hospice/nursing home, so many sad faces, so many people that at one point were just like us - living life, raising kids, working jobs etc. I looked around and wondered - why aren't there more people visiting these folks... I wish that I could just go there and spend time with whomever is lonely... I also have a fear that someday it will be me, sitting alone in a wheelchair - desperately awaiting a visitor that doesn't come...

Goodbye Grandpa

2008-05-10T17:19:00.003-06:00

I just got back from an interesting combination of activities. I went to the hospice and said goodbye to my grandpa. I am not sure what is harder...... saying goodbye after they are gone, or talking with them about the fact that they are going to die anytime.

My grandpa said "I tried to do everything right, I always tried to do the right thing," "Everybody has to die..... I am going to get to see a lot of people that have died; I have lost a lot of people". He asked me not to cry - I told him that I loved him and that I was sorry that my face was leaking on him... He told the girls that he loved pretty girls and that he would remember them always. Ron promised that he would forever take care of grandpa's ladies.

There were many tears - I have never seen my grandpa cry until today. Me - I hate crying especially when I can't stop it.... I am content that he will no longer be in pain, I just know how much I will miss his stubborn ways. What an amazing man..... We will love him always.. In the end we wished him a comfortable journey and a good trip. We promised that we would see him in a few decades when it is our time.

The irony of this trip to see grandpa is that we followed it by going to see my friend Traveler at the hearse convention. That felt pretty sick and twisted but we tried to have a good time. It was wild to see so many hearses in one place.

Traveler is so cool, she said that if Mallory needs a limousine for prom, Trav would drive her in the coolest limo in town - - her hearse..

Things are very different - but great!!

2008-04-23T18:34:00.002-06:00

OK - so it has been a while since blogging because things are hoppin! Here is the update:

The family - We have been having a fantastic time with the kids - we got an annual pass to the recreation center that has a huge pool and a great slide and diving boards. We are having a blast - Mallory and I are even working out while Ron, Tyler and Amber swim. We have been doing science projects at home as a family (not just the ones in the fridge). We have been growing crystals and planting an indoor garden. We also are amazed by our wonderful neighbors that feel like a second family. We do dinners together and frequently have cul-de-sac get-togethers that are just a blast. We feel so fortunate to be surrounded by such great people.

Mallory - She is meeting with her tutors this week, working hard on homework to pass the semester. She has her work cut out for her, but I am proud of her valiant efforts (without complaints). She is enjoying swimming as well - she does need a new swimsuit though - she has lost her top off of the diving board and her bottoms are practically see through... A couple of days a week she is working for my sister and brother in law - trying to save money to buy her own car since we have to sell hers to pay her medical bills. We would not be surviving this without them. They are such positive people and really have embraced the best of Mallory.

Amber - Amber is addicted to the water slide at the pool! It took 5 trips to the pool to get her to try it. Ron has an amazing relationship with her and has encouraged her to do some scary things (the water slide). AMBER EVEN JUMPED OFF THE DIVING BOARD! This is the kid that won't even ride a bike because it is too scary... Amber is blooming into a great little gal - she is excited to start volleyball again this season, swimming 3+ times per week, field trips every Friday this summer at camp and more.

Tyler - WOW! He is doing so well at school we couldn't be more proud. He plays outside with Amber everyday and has been enjoying his new motorized scooter. He is even attending school when he doesn't have to for extra credit. He did burn his arm in auto shop today on a motor - but he is fine. He amazes us every time he does his chores without being told, homework without being asked and just being a great kid all the way around.

Ron - Again WOW! I feel so fortunate to have Ron, he has embraced the kids like a Dad should. He is there to encourage them to do scary things, take them to appointments and love them in general. He is working a lot and keeping the house together while I am gone.

Me - I am in the middle of my statistics class, doing my internship which is going very well and work which is crazier than ever (of course - it is a mental hospital, so I guess it is normal.)

All in all - life is good amidst chaos...

Love you all!!

Overwhelmed with Joy, Thanks and what now?

2008-04-06T17:50:00.003-06:00

First and foremost - we would like to extend our heartfelt thank you to each and every one of you. We have not had time to call and personally talk with each of you - but given the time you are all on our list. We are so overwhelmed by the amount of help and support has been offered - it is amazing; we feel so fortunate.

In our time of need - our support system was shown and we still cannot believe the amount of love and kindness in the world from our closest friends, our extended family and even people we barely know. I found one supportive lady at the laundrymat when I was washing 24 loads of Mallory's clothes before she came home. Strange how good people show up out of nowhere when we need them.

Mallory is home and adjusting to her restrictions. She has been surprised at everything that is gone from her room, after we removed everything goth, dark, reference to suicide, reference to depression or just inappropriate in general - there wasn't much. We are asking ourselves why we allowed all of it to begin with... Unknowingly assisting her in slipping to what she calls the dark side.

We have decided with Amber that pink and yellow are the only colors allowed :)

Ron has arranged to work partially from home and his sister has been very kind in offering to hire Mallory part-time during the day to keep her occupied, supervised and allow her to save for a car, since Ron and I are selling hers to pay the medical bills.

We have had other rough developments that I will explain later in regards to Barry - tragic mistakes can lead to a lifetime of consequences...

Oh my God we love her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-04-03T15:33:00.001-06:00

Even rolling her eyes she is cute!!!

Recovery and Thanks

2008-04-03T14:58:00.004-06:00

To all that have shown us love and support:

We cannot thank everyone enough for:

The love and kindness
The understanding without judgment
The meals and hugs
The babysitting & helping Amber and Tyler understand that we didn't all desert them
The kind comments that made us feel not alone

Things we appreciate and tend to get short tempered about (Not meant to sound bitchy):

People not saying "it was a cry for help" because it wasn't - she was ready to die...
People not telling us that her liver will heal - because it can't... this is progressive damage
Advice, right now we are following the professionals advice as they have dealt and learned from thousands of adolescents, if that doesn't work we will ask for advice...
People not saying that it was "just" pot - she has an uncontrollable addiction that led her to feel depressed and hopeless. If it wasn't pot it would have been something else. She has been putting the "pot band aid" on her wounds of depression.

In our world of hopeless health insurance they will not approve Mallory going into the 8 week residential treatment until (unless) she "fails" at intensive outpatient therapy - hopefully this time it will not end with additional permanent damage or death.

Mallory's restrictions when she comes home as set by her Doctor and Social Worker:

No cell phone (for at least 6 months and even then; no texting)
No Computer access without a parent actually watching (no MySpace, Facebook etc.)
No friends over without parents in the room
No phone calls without parents in the room
She cannot leave the house without parents or be left anywhere without sober responsible adults.

She cannot go to school - she will not pass this semester and will have to take online courses and will be transferring to a high school with 161 students next year.

Mallorys treatment:
Mallory will go to Individual Therapy for 1 hour per week
Mallory will get 6 hours of Substance Abuse Treatment per week
Mallory will get 3 hours per week of Family Substance Abuse Treatment per week
Mallory will have random UA's and BA's to monitor her sobriety

And all of this will take place in Louisville Colorado (Over an hour away from home).

How do we plan to manage all of this? Ron is asking work if he can work from home for 12 weeks. Family and friends are working toward having Mallory stay with them during the day here and there (She can work for free and be helpful around the house...), Her Dad is also willing to take her to work with him (unless it is at a construction site-for god sakes).

Mallory's car will be sold to pay all of the medical bills which are already mounting. Not counting her upcoming treatment which will cost approximately $1,000+ per month.

Life as we knew it will be much different now - but if it saves our baby's life - it is worth more than anything in this world. Oh - and as we said everything has changed we even shaved her cat!!

We look forward to Mallory's progression and will never seek to find perfection...

We love you all!

Coni, Ron, Mallory, Amber, Tyler and Barry

I almost lost my baby...

2008-03-30T23:10:00.004-06:00

For those of you that do not know - we almost lost Mallory the other night. She has been in the hospital all weekend after taking 11,000mg of tylenol. She didn't tell us she did it until about 8 hours after at which time she was gray weak and her skin was pasty... she was on her way to leaving us... It took many attempts to find out what was wrong with her and then when she told us - our world collapsed...

We got her to Swedish hospital at which time her pulse was averaging 40-48 beats per minute and her blood pressure was 80/40... again...... she was on her way... She had lost so much fluid that they were going to attempt an IV in her foot, but then got one into her arm. Unfortunately they had to run 2 IV lines at the same time - so in all she got 7 attempts and IV's this weekend.

She was transferred today to a psychiatric hospital in Louisville. She is on an involuntary hold - which means even as her parents - we can't bring her home.

We will be having her liver tested a lot in the next few weeks as her levels of enzymes are not right - they should be about 35 and hers are 90 (climbing from what they were yesterday - which is BAD). The bad news - if her liver continues to degenerate - there is nothing they can do... Which is the saddest part of all.

One of the saddest aspects of this is that she text-messaged 2 of her friends before taking the pills to say "good-bye, I love you and I am sorry, I am gonna die" - Both friends replied with "K"... Unbelievable! They came to see her at the hospital and I gave them an earful.

We are hoping for the best, but reality is reminding us to expect the worst.

I love you all so much - thank you for your support right now. I hope that we can help her live long enough to get through her teenage years.

Trannis, Limits and Kids

2008-03-01T08:55:00.005-07:00

I love birthdays - they are a great excuse to see and talk to people that you love and miss!!

Update on the adults (or so we are called)
Ron - Ron has been working hard on his truck - He is so amazing!!! He changed out his transmission in his truck last weekend in 5 hours (by himself)... It kind of pissed me off because the last time I took a car to the shop for a transmission it took them a week and they charged me for 30 hours of labor (Oh and like $1,600). It is so exciting to see his project truck change like a transformer!

Me - Well, I hit my limit!! 22 hours awake in a 24 hour day does horrible things to your body and your brain... I was trying to drive home from work and I COULDN'T keep the car in the lane no matter how hard I tried. I was crying from exhaustion and pulled over to make a call that I HAD to make that morning and when they asked me for my phone number I couldn't remember it. I had drank so much coffee that I was shaking and it took me 3 tries to dial the phone. I made it most of the way home and realized I had missed to street to get to my house, so I turned at the next street right in front of a car... Luckily I made it home safe, slept and still have only regained limited functioning... THAT is what I call "Hitting your limit" or "Having your limit hit you".

The kids -

Amber - she is such a doll, she got another 5 green behavior cards at school this week, I am guessing due to one of the following:
She has worked really hard to stay out of trouble
The medication she is on is really working well
or
The fact that she has a substitute teacher that doesn't know about the behavior card system...

I am also wondering when Amber will get a sense of style if any. She is defying the odds of the color wheel in every way possible. Either she goes to school wearing Mallory's clothes which makes her look like the little girl off of the move Little Miss Sunshine OR she looks like a homeless kid with layers of clothes that don't match (I am talking like mint green, red and electric blue). In addition, we can't convince her to wear a bra and her little buds are shining through her clothes. We decided that working on her wearing deodorant was more of a priority than the bra since she smells like a busy day at the gym most of the time.

Mallory - she is doing so well, we have had a great week. She has been keeping herself in control and it feels like there is a new "aura" in the house... I find it amazing that just one person in the house improving their attitude can do for everyone!

Tyler - he is so quiet and sweet. It is hard for us sometimes because he prefers to spend time alone.... We are trying to get him more involved in the family but he just kind of goes his own way. Ideas?

Hannah Montana & Groundings

2008-02-17T19:21:00.002-07:00

Today has been an interesting day...

I woke up at 9:00am on a Sunday to take Amber to see Hannah Montana in the theaters. I really thought that it would rank right up there with getting a colonic. It was in 3-D and yes, it was annoying and terrible.... However, seeing Amber jumping up and down giggling and screaming was worth every bit of the pain and torture (and the $30 the tickets cost - plus $12 in popcorn and a bucket of soda). What a sight, she was SO excited...

Right now I am sitting here listening to torture; no not Hannah Montana - Mallory screaming and crying because she is sick of being grounded. It is a four day weekend for her and she is miserable... God I hate being a mom sometimes. Of course, we never believed our parents when they said that grounding us hurt them as much as it did us...... now we know; grounding does hurt us as parents.

I am going to get to escape to work in the next 2 hours and I can't wait. The pain of listening to her cry is unbearable.

Mallory's baby brother was born....

2008-02-16T08:58:00.002-07:00

So an update to my last post. Mallory has 3 little siblings (possibly more that were adopted out years ago as she was).

She has 2 brothers - one was born yesterday...
She also has a sister

They are all under the age of 5.

I am feeling a little better - Mally was on cloud nine, I am still nervous that she is going to get hurt...

Hmmm why am I upset?

2008-02-15T21:10:00.003-07:00

I am sitting here and I feel uncomfortable.... Mallory is talking to her father (yes - Jason her biological father) on the phone in the room next to me.

I have always wanted her to be content in the "dad" department. I just worry that she will be disappointed. I was so crushed when Barry left and she was lonely and abandoned. When Ron came back into the picture she displayed some hope that not all "dad's" are bad... Ron is wonderful to her but she has always been searching for that "real dad".

Jason is a great guy - he actually wouldn't talk to her until he talked to me to make sure that I was ok with it. He also wanted to respect my wishes since he had signed away all rights. He sounds like he is doing well in life (married, kids etc.).

What is strange to me is that Mallory has siblings out there (a lot of them) that she doesn't know. It never really crossed my mind that she has brothers and sisters other than Amber.

I think what it comes down to is............................ I don't share well.

Not really an interesting blog - but I do feel better. Thanks for reading.

Coni

Brain Purge

2008-02-12T11:45:00.000-07:00

So it has been a while since I last posted... The reason - I didn't put it on my schedule.

I have found that my brain is purging everything that is not a part of survival, such as:

Blogging to update my friends
Passwords to everything I need
Showering
and - I can't remember if there is anything else

Yes, it is true - I am not quite sure of the last time I showered because I am not even sure what day it is... Yesterday I slept for a whole 3 hours of a 24 hour day... I am seeing wrinkles that I don't think were there a month ago, black bags under my eyes that are making me look like a raccoon and children that I can't remember if they are mine.

The good news is - I only have another 11 months of this before I can move on with my life, get to know my kids again and possibly get a face lift to repair the damage of this year...

What I find truly amazing is that when you don't have any time, you inevitably are able to find time for those things important to you (obviously showering is not very important to me - although I think those around me disagree with my priorities). I have seen my friends in town more, called more people that I know and I think it is because I am so frantically fearful that I will lose touch with the world. Did any of you know there was a tornado in Tennessee?? I didn't... I guess news is not important anymore either.

Here is what I "think" is happening with my family in the last couple of weeks:

Amber - she is learning life lessons on how to behave properly by watching other children's behavior and trying to reproduce it... surprisingly she is doing well with this.

Mallory - she is doing VERY well. Things got rough for her and she is picking herself up off the ground, dusting off the dirt, healing the bruises and moving on with life. I have high hopes for her abilities. She has signed up for Warren Tech to learn how to be a something I can't spell but it has to do with skincare... She is doing really well at work and even picked up an extra shift when someone called in sick. This is something that most teenagers don't sign up for - extra work!!

Tyler - Tyler was sick and was grounded to "staying home from school". He really wanted to go to school but with much protest he agreed to stay home and vomit...

Ron - oh Ron... he is trying so hard to keep up with his life at work, at home, as a husband, a parent, a computer programmer, a mechanic, oh and did I mention a parent. He has taken on so much of the duties that I cannot do and he is doing an incredible job. He is enjoying playing with his new motor from a Lexus that he is putting into his 4runner. Oh and he is soon to be quitting smoking amidst all of this....

That is all for now - I love and miss you all... I will be paroled from my internship in 11 months and hopefully I will still remember all of your names. Bye for now.

Hell week/sad death/ACT Tests

2008-02-02T13:05:00.000-07:00

This last week has been challenging. I worked 16 hours straight (was supposed to be 20, but I couldn't make it); I don't remember driving home but the only damage was that I drove over the flagstone in the front yard when I got home. It took a couple of days to recover, but I survived.

Sad news... My ex-husband Barry (Ambers Dad), his brother Greg died yesterday. Greg was a great guy always independent and successful. In the last few years things became tough. He couldn't handle how unforgiving and tough life could be. It is suspected that he accidentally ended his young life yesterday afternoon trying to numb the pain of misfortune. Please take a moment to send heartfelt thoughts to his 12 year old daughter and 8 year old son and his wonderful wife of many years.

This situation is so similar to many in this world; this is yet another reason I chose to go into the mental health field. I only wish that more people had the courage to get help.

Update on Mallory - so we have always talked about college with Mallory until about 6 years ago when I got called into her therapists office and asked to quit talking about it "Mallory is NOT interested in going to college". We were crushed and the only bright side we could see in it all is that we could use her college money to build an addition on the house - ensuring that she will have a place to live since without college she probably wouldn't be able to afford a place of her own.

Last week Mallory asked if I could look at the Metro State website to see what the admission requirements were (I assumed that she was asking for a friend). She then saw what the ACT/SAT scores need to be in accordance with GPA. It was one of "those" moments....... she looked at me and said "Mom, I need to get my grades up and get a study book for the ACT/SAT". It was every parents dream - that moment when your child makes an adult decision that you want them to make, but each time you bring it up, they are pushed further for it. I asked her what changed her mind and she said "Well, I can't live on minimum wage now can I?"

I went and bought her the book to study from and got that "I have a masters degree" attitude and sat down to read the questions in the book....... Oh my, we forget a lot...... I effectively answered about 10 questions out of 50 (and I guessing on 6 of them)...

We also need to some good thoughts sent Mallory's way - on Thursday she is having $1,900 in oral surgery done... She is getting 4 impacted wisdom teeth removed and some procedure to encourage her stubborn 12 year molar to make an appearance.... Yeah, I did say $1,900...

Talk to you all soon.

Oh my where to begin??

2008-01-27T09:48:00.000-07:00

OK - here we go:

Me - I have been busy with my internship now for a couple of weeks and things have been hectic... I am treating domestic violence offenders and it has been interesting. Society has a view of these guys like they are all sitting around in "wife beater" t-shirts and hate women. NOT TRUE, most of these guys are normal guys that just need to learn proper responses to anger and frustration. There are some that society would mark as typical but most of them seem to be truly interested in changing their ways - I am excited to be part of their journey!
I am only working 75 hours per week - Yippee, only 50 more weeks of this and I will be graduated!!

I have also been running the kids to appointments and I got frustrated because nobody had convenient appointment times that fit my schedule. After getting mad though I realized that the only convenient time for appointments was after 7pm on Saturday nights. My doctors office and the dentist office tout convenient appointment times - but not in my book. I suddenly realized that there AREN'T any convenient times anymore.

I decided to take some time out and go get a manicure pedicure at one of the asian shops by our house, I was enjoying myself (not really, having someone rip your cuticles off is Not very relaxing). I was in a state of calm when the lady said "you wan eyebow wax? you uppose to hab two" it was at this moment I realized that I have been too busy for beauty regimine and yes... I had one eyebrow - not two... That's ok though, I will pluck them while in traffic on my way to work :)

Mallory - She has been doing SO well. She slipped up once and now if grounded for an indefinite amount of time, but she knows that she made some bad choices and just needs to do a little more work on herself...

Amber - Well, Amber started taking medication to lessen the anxiety that causes her to act strange when she is nervous. The medication works well, except for extreme circumstances such as the hamsters getting out... Mallory bought a new hamster that was small enough to get out of the cage. So we had 2 hamsters on the loose, with 3 cats in the house.
Amber was in the bathroom (going #2) and the hamster ran under the door of the bathroom. Of course the logical thing to do in Ambers world is to stand up tackle the hamster and squeeze it to her chest and run to Mom screaming (pants not quite up yet - oh and she didn't have time to wipe).
So she finds me in the garage and is screaming and holding her chest and crying - of course I immediately think she is hurt as she is grasping her chest. She finally says "hammmmster"!!!!!! So we get the hamster back into our smaller cage and set out to find the other one. As we are looking Amber peeks under the dresser - begins screaming, hits her head on the drawer and starts to hyperventilate. I could care less about the hamster, Amber was about to pass out, all I could do was tell her to breathe while I caught the hamster. Now we have both hamsters in a small cage and then realized we have now put a boy and a girl hamster in the same cage. I will look forward to blogging about our newborn dwarf hamsters....

Tyler - Tyler is doing really well, he is getting good grades and enjoying living with us (I think..). It is always hard to tell with teenage boys what they are thinking. They generally don't listen until you say something like "star-wars" or "transformers". He got grounded for the first time, which he handled well - he was grounded from video games and well without them - he went to bed at 6:00pm...

Ron - Poor Ron, he has been working his job and fixing every virus ridden computer that has landed in our bedroom..... Keep in mind he no longer has an office so he has spent a lot of time in Tylers room fixing computers. Ron has also had his hands full with the cars; he has replaced the "rack" of the focus (sounds like it got a boob job). I also took the Volvo in for an alignment and oil change and was informed that my car needed new brakes and rotors (no problem it's only going to be an extra $800). So, Ron being Ron is going to do the work himself, after all the parts are only $250.

OK - NOW the big news for Ron, he is so excited to have purchased a Lexus engine for the 4-runner, he is going to use a chevy transmission to make his Toyota capable of hauling a "truggy" which will be mine when we are 4-wheeling. Yes, this sounds insane to me too, a 22 year old truck with at least 1 part from every make of car BUT Ford. But this is what Ron enjoys doing in his free time. Truck parts are like crack cocaine for him.

Talk to you all soon...

Guitar Hero, Hannah Montana and AC/DC

2008-01-11T07:30:00.000-07:00

How good do you sleep? Well, it depends if you have kids (older ones). I am SO glad the kids are back in school. Over Christmas break I repeatedly tried to sleep through all the kids in the house; here is a peek of their activities:

Tyler: Playing Guitar Hero at full volume...
Mallory: Listening to AC/DC at full volume to drown out guitar hero
Amber: Watching 4,000 episodes of the same Hannah Montana show, giving her own concert..
All of them: Fighting non-stop at volumes above all items listed above
All of them: Playing World Wide Wrestling in my living room and then crying because they got hurt!

Although it is tough to sleep; I LOVE the sounds of a house full kids - at least they are home and not off getting in trouble.

Also, I am hereby toasting the teachers of the world that now have the children everyday until Spring break!!

Love you all...

Split pants & Internships

2008-01-05T10:05:00.000-07:00

CHRISTMAS GATHERING

This is my best christmas memory for this year! A day with the girls in Conifer opening gifts, eating food, drunk roller-skating and just laughing, crying and having fun!

My best gift: A beautiful pink blanket made by Lance - a man who is redefining who he is, a master crafter! Not sure how to turn the picture - so turn your head...

LIFE SINCE CHRISTMAS!!!

OK so things have been interesting in the last two weeks.

INTERNSHIP
I went to my interview for an internship at Parker, Froyd and Associates. They are a Forensic Psychology group working with Court Ordered Clients.

I was so nervous about the interview I actually pulled over on the way there and threw up EWE!! I was careful not to blow chunks on my suit jacket, but my breath was atrocious so I put gum in my mouth, forgot to take it out and almost choked on it in the lobby........... YIKES, I am dying for this internship but I was worried I was going to die in their lobby...

After I gained my composure I walked into the interview and I must say - the Gods are not crazy today - they are amazing. This place is an interns dream, they actually seem to want to help me go from a baby therapist to a big girl. They are going to help me get certified by the DVOMB (Domestic Violence Offender Management Board) which is no small task. They are willing to offer me the hours I want (2 evenings a week, all day friday and 1 saturday a month)... I am in awe of how things are coming together. Thank you to all of you who summoned whatever higher power you beleive in and sent good thoughts my way..

I am not being a narcissist by putting a picture of myself (a bad picture) on my blog - I am only letting you all see what I look like since you may not see me for a year (because of my internship) and I am sure the after picture will look like the next photo...

Oh my - I am going to be tired...........

SPLIT MY PANTS
OH MY! I went to get in the car last night to go to the chiropractor and the seat felt awfully warm (I have heated seats). I go into the chiropractor and lay face down on the table when my oh so smooth husband says "Honey you need new pants" what he failed to tell me was that my ENTIRE ASS was hanging out!!!!

After a bright red giggle or two the chiropractor says he has seen it all (You bet he has ALL OF MY ASS). So as he is adjusting me, they rip some more. My only saving thought is "Thank god I didn't wear a thong, or better yet, go commando." So I get ready to leave walking out of the building as proud as can be that I... am not afraid to let the world see my Hello Kitty underwear.

NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS

Spend some time writing all of my Oh so fun adventures, so I may never forget them - and tell the world about them.
Work my rear end off at my internship (Translation: See you all next year!).
Spend lots of quality time with the kids (Translation: Room searches and discipline) - I am hoping to help Amber with her anxiety by spending more time with her...... when I can find some.
Keep in touch at least over the phone once per month with every one of my friends.
Thank my husband daily for taking me and all of my adventures in stride and loving me anyway!
Be nicer to people (not nice..... just nicer).

BUSY, BUSY, BUSY - oh Happy Freakin Holidays

2007-12-22T12:47:00.000-07:00

Well, my bay window is broken but no worries, we have free replacement - it will be here the end of January...

I have completed my shopping through hell and back but none of the gifts caught fire (yet).

Ron is doing his shopping early this year (today). He is 2 days earlier than usual.

Mallory is doing well - of course murphy's law, the rack and pinion on her car broke so we are sharing the Volvo - of course the Volvo is a turbo and doesn't have a camera in it so god only knows what she is doing in my car.

I took Amber to the psychiatrist and par for the course - she acted psychotic (she does this when she is nervous). We have had instances where she crawls on the floor, rolls around, screams in terror and loses all control... although it is embarrassing sometimes, I know she has an illness and at times can't help it. Anyway - she barked (literally) at the psychiatrist and rolled on the floor.

I also took her to the store the other day and it was crowded, Amber was standing in the middle of the store shaking wildly and screaming in terror, people were running up to her to find out what was wrong; she forgot where I was and lost it.

The psychiatrist has removed her bi-polar diagnoses given that she is acting less depressed and more psychotic (but only when she is anxious). So he put her on a medication for anxiety in hopes of calming her at school (and everywhere else) when she gets anxious and out of control. The medication is making her tired but she should get used to it before she returns to school on January 8th. We love her so much, we just need to stop her barking in public...

GREAT NEWS - I have an interview for an internship January 3rd at Parker, Froyd and Associates to do my internship in Forensic Psychology. I am REALLY looking forward to it. They do Psychological evaluations, work with police when an officer is struggling or when there is an officer involved shooting. They have a quick response team that dispatches (via the police dept) when there is a crime with victims. They also treat Domestic Violence Perpetrators, victims and children. In addition, I will still get to do Grief work with them...

Love you all - Happy holidays and for those of you expecting a christmas card, as usual you may get them in June.

Random Pictures

2007-12-06T19:36:00.000-07:00

Memories of our Last Colorado Winter - yes there were 2 cars in the driveway

This picture is just amazing - Mallory took it at the Botanic Gardens last spring.

This is our stubborn but cute cat, with amazing vocal talents - Punkin...

This is something that is hard to look at - my daughter in a wedding veil and AC/DC pants - good Lord, when she does get married, this will probably be her attire of choice.... Yikes - she a little weird, but we love her anyway!

I thought it might be fun to post some pictures that have just been sitting in my camera..........

Life at 100mph

2007-12-05T20:39:00.000-07:00

We put up our christmas decorations! They look great!!

This is Ron's office converted into Tylers room

This is now my bedroom, yes the dresser is turned sideways to allow us an alleyway into the bedroom, Ron's desk is behind the dresser.

Well, here it is as far as our life goes:

Amber is trying her absolute hardest to repeat 4th grade (Maybe because she likes 4th grade). We are working on a school program for her, but wow is she being a tough cookie. Her strength is persistence...

Mallory is doing VERY well in school so far this year - we are so proud of her, she also hasn't gotten any more tickets and successfully completed her probation (every parents dream - right?).

Tyler is a joy - he does his chores, his laundry, his homework and he is doing well with his job at King Soopers, he is polite and listens and makes my kids look like devils...

Ron is adjusting to having his office in the bedroom - this has not been easy for either of us, but he is taking it like a man...

Me - well, work, work, work and looking forward to seeing my gal pals from Qwest in a couple of weeks!! I have been busy getting ready for christmas which has been a chore since we are short on money (thanks to my job, having another kid and Ambers braces), so I am making gifts this year - I actually did pretty well at it (I think)...

Love you all - there is a quick update on us!!

Coni

Life's big changes - It's a Boy!!

2007-11-16T09:35:00.000-07:00

Hello all - here is an update from the Nelson, Sanders, Adams and Strole household...

Me - Well, it was time for my annual psychiatry appointment with my 80ish year old doctor and well, I was talking with him about the last year and when I looked over - he was asleep (or dead I couldn't tell). I had a sudden fear that I had bored my psychiatrist to death!! I said his name a couple of times in hopes of waking him up and he didn't budge - so I poked him in the arm and he woke up and asked me if I wanted tranquilizers (good GOD do I need them?) I told him NO I DON'T need tranquilizers and he quickly said he was thinking about another patient. This is where the jokes come in (My psychiatrist slept with me, I bored him to death, I am a very soothing person???)

Amber is doing much better in school - we are doing a reward system that seems to be working. Bribery is what a reward system is - but hey, we have to do what we can right?

Mallory has been doing some interesting driving of late - she seems to be allergic to the concept of a "complete stop" at stop signs - she was almost broadsided and yes, we got a video of the whole thing...... I cannot in good faith relay the language she used on video - filthy. She is doing well in school and seems to enjoy her job at JC Penny.

Ron has been working his butt off at work and playing full time Dad on the weekends while I torture myself at school (I PASSED MY PRACTICUM) finally. Now it is on to my internship which will most definitely be like having 2 jobs - but I think Ron is handling things at home well!!

IT's A BOY - no I am not pregnant and either is Ron or Mallory. We have an exciting addition to our home. My nephew Tyler has decided to live with us until he graduates high school in about a year and half. He is a great kid - just needs a new environment. Although this is not easy by any means we feel blessed to have him!! Ron and I are re-locating Ron's office to our bedroom and for those of you that have had the pleasure of seeing his office - I am not yet sure where we will sleep! But - Tyler being a teenage boy - he needs his own room... Thank you Ron for being so willing to sacrifice your sanctuary!

The dogs are OK - we have had them in a cage by the dog door for about a year and decided to give them another chance to roam the house without peeing on EVERYTHING... They failed this test after getting into the trash peeing on all of our coats, the couches and yes yet again.... each other. I also found most of our underwear decorating the back yard - half eaten... So much for forgiveness and second chances the dogs are now back in their cage.

I am so excited for the holidays as I will get to see most of my friends from Qwest and other parts of the world - I feel so thankful to have friends where the lack of time doesn't damage the friendship.

Love you all.

Coni

WOW - Amber ROCKS

2007-10-20T21:11:00.000-06:00

Amber had her first Volleyball game of the season... Since last year her team lost every game, I was hoping that she would get to feel what it is like to be on a winning team...

SHE SCORED 11 points on her own, their team won both games! She is a natural at it and now that she knows how to play she acts like she isn't even trying.... It is so cool to see her skills develop!!

Now - her team needs to come up with a name based on the color of their team tee-shirts......... the color........... BURNT ORANGE!!!

Ok so the ones that we have voted off are:

The Carrots
The Yams
The Poo Girls
The String Cheese's (yes plural)
The Mad Macaronis
The Burnt Eagles
The pumpkins

OH MY!! Suggestions are welcome!!

9 year old imagination - 4-wheeling

2007-10-14T20:51:00.000-06:00

OK so here are a couple of pictures of Amber and I in her magical fort she built in the family room (whatta mess). But it was fun to play with her and pretend. I also added a picture of us 4-wheeling. I am excited because I figured out how to add photos!

I got out of the truck and suddenly was very short and looking at the seat in the truck!

If you look, the back tire is in the air - Cool!!

Yes, there is my priceless princess showing off her matching purple underwear in her magical fort.

This is me, haggared from playing with Amber all day and trying to read for school (in the magical fort) all day... The creative ways we mom's must find to do things like play with our kids and do our homework too!

Enjoy...

4 Wheeling Fun - He let me drive

2007-10-14T18:33:00.000-06:00

OK so I know yet again that my husband loves me. He let my drive the princess while we were 4-wheeling, not once did he grab the wheel, slam his feet into the floorboard to activate the imaginary brake or grab the "oh crap" handle. It was a blast!!

And many of us well know - grief can sneek up on you at unexpected times (like yesterday), so can joy!! Going out and 4-wheeling in the snow was just what the doctor ordered!!

To all of you who are too far away to see the amazing sights of Colorado - these are for you!

Feeling Sad today - thought I would share the pain

2007-10-13T17:10:00.000-06:00

I found some beautiful videos about remembering everyone who died at Columbine... Today it is cloudy and life is tough, so I am taking some time out to feel some pain and grief..... occassionally it is helpful.

I love all of you...

Tribute to Columbine High School Victims

2007-10-13T17:09:00.003-06:00

Columbine High School Massacre

2007-10-13T17:09:00.001-06:00

Smoking cars, cooking adventures and bad grades

2007-10-12T16:57:00.000-06:00

I have been SOOOO busy between work, my practicum for school and working on my internship that I can't even keep track of things (I keep doing things like paying the bills twice - or not at all). I am possibly doing my internship at St. Johns Hospice. I am so excited about this - grief counseling is awesome.

Mallory had her first taste of "life sucks" when your driving today when the focus blew a hose.... Of course she calls and says that the car is on fire because she can't tell the difference between smoke and steam....... OH MY!! And she even took auto shop at school..... good grief!! The car is now fixed and she is happily on the road again.

Amber is doing ok - she has straight "F's" at school........ we are so proud - NOT!!! Her teacher this year sucks and we are working on that... Amber may get to experience 4th grade twice. She is trying hard but she is beginning to internalize the behaviors that she used to act out. Her behavior at home is good, but at school she is far from focused. The special education department is working with us, every school tells you what to do when you are being bullied, but there aren't very many resources when your child is "THE BULLY".

ADVENTURES IN COOKING:
I tied to make Chicken and dumplings, 1st you must know the difference between edible chicken and ROTTON chicken (note to self: If the chicken smells so bad you gag, cooking it won't make it edible). 2nd you MUST NOT add too much baking powder - I put in a spoon sized amount of dough for the dumpling and it blew up the size of a watermelon and then deflated. Oh my............ I really can't get this cooking thing down.

Anyway - I will keep you all posted on our new adventures.

Teenage Successes and Sleepovers

2007-09-29T07:26:00.000-06:00

So I am SOOO proud of Mallory - she got great grades on her progress report, she only had one incident that set off the camera and she got a job at JC Penny (making $7.75 an hour which is pretty good) which is showing her how a corporation is run (vs. the crappy Melt store). She even made it home by curfew...... We are shocked by the changes we have seen in her and given her so many kuddo's for doing well she is getting angry and telling us to "shut up". I am starting to wonder if we are good parents after all??

I had a tough Mommy moment when we were at Goodwill and she wanted to buy an end table to begin buying things for when she moves out....... UGH!! Don't blink ladies - before you know it those cute little babies grow up and leave to become individuals....

Amber had her 2nd sleepover EVER - She was so excited and overstimulated it was nearly impossible to keep her from hyperventilating.... She was also invited to go to a Rockies game with a friend and her parents... Apparently the social "Training" that she is learning in her special education class is working. She has also started using words such as: amazing, neat and fabulous instead of: stupid, sucky and dumb...

I have been a real mess, my back, neck, jaw, hips and knee have been hurting so bad, I drove to the chriropractor office and sat in the waiting room, threatening to sleep there if I needed to because I needed to be seen. I haven't been there in 4 years.

If you all remember when I was addicted to the pain meds after the accident in 1999, I was a total skeptic about chriropractic until he "fixed" me in 3 months and I haven't been back or taken the pills since... I called Ron after my appointment and jokingly told him that I was in love with another man - and running away with the chriropractor!! He laughed...

Anyway - We survived another week!! Looking forward to another one as good as this one!

See you all later.

Coni

Rundown - WARNING, NOT FUNNY

2007-09-24T09:22:00.000-06:00

OK so here is why I haven't posted in a few days, there hasn't been anything funny or happy... But I realized that with most of you being my friends, I can occasionally post the depressing too...

Thursday September 20:
Mallory calls herself into school (1st period) and says she is me - She used "Constance Sanders" not knowing that when I call her in, I call myself "Coni Nelson", so she was going to be suspended for 1 day until I chewed out the principle for giving a kid that was skipping a class MORE time outside of class, so she has detention after school for 2 days and the loss of her cell phone and car for the weekend - which I will later explain got her FIRED from her job.

Friday September 21:
The filming crew got to my house about 10am to film us on the day of the opening of the Columbine Memorial, it is hard to feel happy and sad all at the same time...... Anyway, Mallory said something profound on camera and I wanted to share; she commented that "Dave was in the right place at the right time" - she used to say "Dave was in the wrong place at the wrong time" but now accepting that he saved many people by doing what he did, healing and time have changed Mallory's perception, that is AWESOME.

11am - we go to the memorial opening for families only to give us an opportunity to look at the memorial site before the public and the media. I see my mom there, her eyes only about 1/4 of the way open and stumbling - SHE IS HIGH ON SOMETHING AT THE DAMN DEDICATION..... What a selfish bitch!!! We do our best to ignore her and she eventually disappears...... we are thankful that there are not cameras to see her disgusting display of addiction.

4pm - the dedication ceremony begins and it is beautiful, sad and exciting - many people showed up for this since it is one of the few "happy" occasions connected to Columbine because now the tour buses will start going to the memorial and NOT to Columbine high school. During this whole ceremony we were all relieved that my mother was nowhere in sight. In addition I lost track of Mallory and because I took away her cell phone, I had to go and find her in a crowd of 5000 people. If you are interested in seeing any of the news coverage and photos - here are some links:

http://cfapp2.rockymountainnews.com/ssslideshow/slideshow_splash.cfm?xml=http://cfapp2.rockymountainnews.com/ssslideshow/092107columbine/092107columbine.xml&slideShowType=default&slideShowName=092107columbine

7pm - My grandmother calls to ask if I have seen my mother, they live with her and were worried because she had been gone all day which is unlike my mother. I knew - she was out stoned, drunk and probably driving - she is not picking up her cell phone. So I start calling emergency rooms, no luck. Finally my sister reaches her on her cell phone and my mother is at the Casinos up in the mountains DRUNK and high on some prescription drugs she probably took from my grandparents... She says she will be home soon.

8pm - Cindy (My sister) and I go to her house to confront her about leaving her at risk parents home alone without calling OH and driving while intoxicated. I call the Colorado State Patrol and give them a description of her car and tell them she is intoxicated - they say they need an exact location of where she is driving to catch her - Yes, I was trying to get my mother caught.

9pm - Mom shows up at the house obviously wasted saying that she "only had some whit zinbenthels (I am guessing that is white zinvendel in drunk speak). I ask her how she is going to feel if she kills someone drinking and driving and her response was (in a very cute, sweet voice) "Like anyone would feel if they killed somebody I guess..... I would face the consequences just fine". When asked why she was drinking and driving her response was "Because I wanted to". I lost it - told her to F*** off and go to hell (In front of my grandmother) and I left. Only a short time later my sister Cindy calls to say that mom is violent and is trying to choke her, I told her to call 911.... Cindy calls and I return to my mothers house to meet with the police only to discover that my grandmother has her cane outside the door telling the police they cannot come inside. Cindy and I leave and mom is threatening (and packing a bag) to leave again. The police take down her license plate number and the story goes on....

Saturday September 23: At noon Mallory asks if she can get a phone number from her cell phone which she is grounded from. She sees a strange text message from her boss at the Melt store asking if she will be coming into work on Satruday at 4pm - OF COURSE SHE WILL, she is scheduled.... So she calls him back and he says that because she didn't call back right away to confirm that she will be working her scheduled shift, she is FIRED.... This guy is the epitomy of an asshole. He has displayed control issues and terrible management skills to the girls in the store and tells them they are doing terrible but can't explain what they are doing that is SO terrible... He is a 22 year old idiot and Ron and I are happy she is no longer subjected to his horrible influence. However, Mallory is devastated - she worked hard, liked her job and was selling more than he was - which is why he probably fired her.

Sunday September 24: Mallory picks herself up and we go to the mall to pick up applications (in part to help her feel less discouraged). As she is filling out an application at JC Penny a manager walks up and asks her to come in for an interview.... YEAH, we want her to be at a big company where the managers are actually trained, the schedule is flexible and she can get a discount on items she can actually use. She GOT THE JOB and has orientation on Tuesday (After detention for calling herself in to class last week). Although her old boss from the Melt store keeps calling her to tell her how terrible she is, Ron, Mallory and I are writing a letter to the owners of the Melt store to let them know just how untrained and inapproprite this guy is...

Anyway I will blog with pictures of Ron and I's day away in the mountains tonight - along with pictures of my cutie-pa-tootie Amber with braces.

Love you all - sorry this post is not very fun......

Braces and Doggy Dermatologists

2007-09-13T17:40:00.000-06:00

So Amber got braces to fix her underbite and they didn't have to gas her to do it. She squirmed and bit, but they are on... She is such a trooper, they decided to wait until the braces were on to tell her that she can no longer:

Eat gum
Chew candy
Eat Soda
Drink high sugar foods

I will post a picture of miss cutie tonight on the blog....

I had to take my dog Scrappy (Scratchy) to the doggie dermatologist today - they wanted me to spend $600 to confirm that my damn dog is allergic to grass - apparently the fact that we don't have any living grass in the backyard doesn't matter. In the end I spent $200 for pills he has to take to make his fur stop flaking off and make him quit eating his paws for dinner because they itch.

They vet gave me a strange look when he asked if Scrappy has normal urine output and I responded "Yes he does, he can pee on the couch, the fridge and his companion Grizzy multiple times per day."

Anyway - the ugliest, dumbest dog on earth now needs medication and lots of attention... we did however turn down the vet's offer to put braces on him to straighten his teeth....... GOOD GOD - HE'S A DOG!!!!!!!!!!!

Dead Hamsters (For real this time AND more than one)

2007-09-02T09:52:00.001-06:00

Ron and I went 4-wheeling on Saturday and left Mallory a list of chores since she is grounded for the weekend - WHY? - Because the camera in her car registered a 3rd passenger while she ran a red light and having a third passenger is against the law (OH - and running the red light too)... We asked her to clean her hamster cages and clean the cat box while we were gone.

We had a fantastic time 4-wheeling until we called home Saturday evening to hear Mallory crying in hysterics. She exclaimed "I KILLED MY HAMSTERS". She has had one of the hamsters "Chubbs" for over 2 years and she played with him all the time, the other hamster "Honey" was meaner than shit but we bought her when Mallory thought that Chubbs had been eaten by the cat (See previous posts).

She went outside to clean the cages and put one hamster in the play-pen (A hamster size fence that you can put on any surface) and put Chubbs in his ball. She got the cages clean and went to get the hamsters from outside; Chubbs was in his ball DEAD, it was very hot outside so we are guessing he died of heat-stroke. Mallory went to get Honey from the playpen and he was gone - only to be found in the dog cage with a shih-tzu eating him.....

So - like any mother when Ron and I got home we took her to Petsmart and bought her a new hamster...

Mallory put both dead hamsters in a shoe box and is insistent that we bury them in the backyard, although I am not too cool with that idea since I still have nightmares from the movie pet cemetary and we have multiple animals that will enjoy a "dug up" midnight snack... I am sure that if we bury them in the backyard it will NOT be the last we see of Chubbs and Honey - may they rest in peace!?!?!?!?

What is there to look forward to in future posts? Amber getting her braces on Friday and adventures of the creepy dead hamsters re-appearing in the backyard....

School, Bugars and The "White" Woman

2007-08-26T21:02:00.001-06:00

OK so after 3 weekens in a row of school, a kid who has had to go to the doctor and the dentist in preparation for braces.... I am one tired mama...

The only entertaining piece of late is that I told Amber that once her braces were put on, she would have to cut up her food and eat it with a fork.... her reply "I have to eat my bugars with a fork?"........... After gagging for a few seconds and I am sure giving her that "I know you didn't just say that" look, I realized she meant "burgers".

Um gross...

I did have an interesting experience at 7-11 in Aurora, I was walking into the store and the cutest little black girl (I am guessing she was about 5 years old) had spilled a 64 oz big gulp of kool-aid on the floor, the store was busy and mom and daughter were laughing and good natured about the spill, but it was everywhere. So I offered to help clean it up and the little girl stopped cleaning it and looked up at me and said loudly "BUT YOU'RE WHITE", I didn't know what to say so I said "I am?"... She didn't know what to say so she stood up, crossed her arms and watched in amazment that a white woman was cleaning up her mess.

Her mother explained with embarassment that in her neighborhood, white people weren't nice to them, the only response I could muster was "I am not from your neighborhood and I am sorry".

I cannot believe that this crap still happens, or maybe I don't want to, but what an eye opener, for a white girl!!

Be kind to everyone folks - just one nice gesture could change a childs view of the world forever.

Back to School

2007-08-19T13:59:00.000-06:00

OK so now that all of us parents are BROKE, since the schools want "Crayola" instead of generic (you remember the black and white packages of generic items that our parents used to buy to end our social lives in elementary schools). School clothes which cost a lot and have NO ENOUGH material...... especially in the teen section. Good god...I though we were in the bathing suit section, not the teen clothing section. Although I did find some cute lingerie in the teen clothing section.... Mallory then told me it is a top not lingerie... I guess I will save myself some embarassment and just go naked...

Anyway, so Amber is getting braces in a couple of weeks and I cannot beleive how much money they want for 6 tiny little brackets and a wire....... I was trying to think how that could cost $3,200, I think I am going to ask if we can provide our own parts and just pay the dentist for labor...... After all I have a couple of brackets that fell off of my teeth when I had braces and I know we can super glue them to her teeth... I also have "Memory" wire for jewelry making and some pliers.. WHAT IS SO DAMN EXPENSIVE...

Mallory's job is going well although her boss is a 24 year old control freak who thinks he rules the world because he manages a "Melt" store. They carry a lot of really cool things that nobody needs, like bath salt (If you are sweaty enough your sweat can turn a bath salty right?). They also have lots of lotion although when broke crisco works just like Eucerin (feels like it too). They also have face cleanser that causes zits..... apparently this is good????

Anyway, that is all for now... I need to go tend to my niece whose eyes appear like those of a pot head..... she has a nasty case of pink eye and is enjoying rubbing her eyes and touching things...... I am so glad the plague came to visit...... We love her lots, she is a super cool kid.........

"Survivor Man" Ron & Coni Style

2007-08-04T15:16:00.000-06:00

OH MY.... Only with my luck can something this awful take place. Ron and I split town for the weekend of camping and as you can tell since I am blogging on Saturday it didn't go so well!!!

We packed an airmattress and all the camping gear we could find and plenty of food for our big adventure in the mountains. We have never been camping together and the kids are gone so we set out Friday afternoon for a weekend of 4-wheeling and fun!

We got up to Georgia pass and made it about a mile in when we needed 4-Wheel drive, suddenly there was a loud "BANG, CLANK, BANG CLANK" right under my seat, it was raining biting cats and dogs but we stopped on the trail and Ron got out to take a look under the truck, I got out and came around to turn the steering wheel while he inspected and heard a "PSSSSSSSSSSSSSS" coming from the tire.

Soaking wet now, we decided that we needed to turn back to the lovely town of Como (Population 5) we managed to get a can of "Fix a flat" and realized that as long as we stayed out of 4-Wheel drive, the truck drove fine. We decided since we were already up in the mountains we would just find a campground on Boreas Pass since that trail doesn't require 4-Wheel drive. We found a beautiful campground and set up camp at 10,500 feet... We had a really good time in spite of our troubles until it started raining cats and biting dogs again......... We got into the back of the truck, the airmattress inflated and settled in to sleep for the night WRONG!!!!!!!

The airmattress doesn't quite fit in the back of the truck and was rubbing on the sides of the truck making a loud "PLTHB" sounds like a giant fart. As most of you know in the mountains EVERYTHING is so quiet.......... Except for our "farting mattress" that was loud enough to wake up the bears every time we moved. Then came the COLD............. we had a comforter and that was it (DUMB INEXPERIENCED CAMPERS). We were up all night waiting for sunlight, shivering in our multiple coats and smoking cigarettes to pass the time.

Of course smoking in an almost enclosed truck made us once again look like a version of "Cheech and Chong go Camping"... the smoke was billowing out from the inside and must have looked like the truck was on fire. We were also in bear country and the sign says to keep your food locked in your car (Check - did that), next line says "NOT where you are sleeping (UH, what if you are sleeping in the locked car). Luckily no Grizzlies came to say "Hello, give me a damn hot dog".

We decided to come home at 6:15am today after waiting 30 minutes for our camping percolator to produce the weakest coffee we have ever had - Why isn't there a Starbucks on Boreas Pass???

Anyway - Ron is hopeful that he can fix the truck easily - we expected that this might happen since we got that particular part very cheap and used - but hey, if it didn't break it would have been a great deal!!

We survived this adventure, I hope there is a less exciting one in our future!!!!!! Love you All...

PS. Mallory got a job at the "Melt" store at the mall - I am sure that will bring some interesting news............ Their biggest seller is "Fizzy Balls" which Mallory can't say with a straight face.....

Pictures of 4-Wheeling in the truck

2007-08-01T18:19:00.001-06:00

It runs, It climbs and OZZFest

2007-07-29T20:43:00.000-06:00

Ok - for those of you that took bets on whether the 4-Runner would end it life as a "4-Sitter" now it is time to pay up or collect.

Ron and I took the truck on a trail over Mt. Evans.... it was fun - even more so because it needs shocks...... It drove great, the seat belts work well too, some of the trail was a bit rough and the seat belt kept me in my seat!

Ron was somewhat skeptical about the steering and in fact had an entire steering assembly in the back of the truck "just in case" we had to replace it on the trail. We thought the trail would only take a couple of hours, but it ended up being more like 5-6 hours - all a super fun time!!

All right - time to call your bookie and pay up!!!!!!!

Mallory went to Ozzfest yesterday - Ron made her SUPER happy and got 9 tickets so she could invite her friends.... Ron even let her take the car while grounded... we were laughing when she called us at midnight and somehow had gotten lost driving, the concert was at Fiddlers Green (Coors Amplitheatre) and she somehow was at Havana and Alameda....... We realized that she doesn't know North, South, East and West at night when she can't see the mountains.... It took a while to talk her through it, but she made it home by 1 am.....

Ron and I have since given in to her inadequacies of direction and installed a compass and a road atlas in her car..... we will find out if she can read the atlas on her next adventure out in the car!!

She currently hates us because next week the GPS is being hardwired into her car along with a camera installed on the rearview mirror - thanks to our insurance company the camera records all sudden activity inside and outside of the car and sends a report to us...... In addition the GPS will email text Ron if her speed exceeds 75 MPH, we set it there knowing that at 80MPH the wheels will likely have a sudden departure from our little Ford Focus... OH TO BE A TEENAGER in the year 2007!!

We had a friend take some pictures of the trail (Proof that the truck really did go on it, for those of you skeptical that we towed it up there and parked it on the road to take pictures, we will attempt to include video) I will post them when we get them.......... Love you all!!!

Mallory's trial

2007-07-26T21:36:00.000-06:00

AHHHH....... Another blissful day bonding with my teenager.

She plead guilty to a lessor charge of "Illegal Dumping", agreed to 3 months of probation (Juvenile Diversion) and fines that they still cannot give us an amount.

She has an appointment with the probation department on August 10th and if we agree to the penalities they want to impose she will go back to court on August 20th to either start the process over or have the judge sign off on the agreement that probation sets such as: community service, an essay explaining why she won't do it again and OF COURSE fines.

So no, the saga is not yet over.

However, we were rather entertained by a man throwing a chair because the judge would not throw out his domestic violence charges. We also ran into a family member, it was good bonding time.

I am hoping that soon Mallory will earn her angel wings and turn out to be a good girl - however, she informed me that her previous angel wings got caught in her horns and came off.

In other news, Ambers eyebrows are coming along nicely, the green sharpie she used to draw them back on is slowly wearing off as well.

Love and kisses from the craziest household in Littleton!!

Where have I been?? & Amber shaved off her eyebrows

2007-07-22T13:49:00.000-06:00

Ok so sorry for the brief vacation from blogging. Here are some of the highlights of the last month:

1. Amber was playing beauty shop and shaved off "most" of her eyebrows.. This of course has been devastating to all of us as holding in the laughter has given the entire family minor heart attacks and some very sore ribs... She will recover although she does look like a house elf and is hard to look at for more than a second or two...

2. I was very sick.... All at once I had a Sinus Infection (Snot running continuously down the back of my throat) making my nose stuffed up so I could not breath through it, at the same time I had Acute Bronchitis (Snot trying to come up my throat) and making it hard to breath through my mouth. THE KICKER - was Strep throat causing my throat to swell and tickle. THE COMBINATION was a snot traffick jam in my throat made me one scary, whiny and irratable woman who could only sleep and gasp for air.... Pay no mind to the major Nicotine fits because unless I could smoke through my ears, it wasn't happening.

3. Mallory passed her driving test and we are happy to report that we NEVER have to ride in the car with her again. However, we are depending on all of you to keep an eye out for a dark Gray Ford Focus that is driving like a mad bat.... please call us to report her driving skills or lack thereof.... We are all safe until August 1st though, as she is already grounded from her license... OH to be a teenager.

4. We went up to my Step Moms cabin in Grandby to go boating and relax. The most relaxing part was being on the center of the lake in a severe lightening storm.. OOPS. We did survive mostly intact, other than our wits which were fried.

5. I purchased the new Harry Potter book at Midnight at a Grand Hallows ball. However, I was stuck in line with Amber who was excitedly talking and spit into the lady in line behind us's eye... Of course, Amber laughed feverishly instead of apologizing... I did have a rather charming young man in front of me that was very interesting, however all charms were lost when he asked me for my phone number (HELLO I HAVE A WEDDING RING)........ I kindly replied with "I could give you my husbands number, he looks something like Hagrid". All conversation ceased immediately...

6. I miss all of my friends at Qwest, it is always a promise to keep in touch but inevitably life changes and people get busy.... Oh how I miss the laughs and the doughnuts.

I am sure now that life is back on track and our near death and near loss of eyebrow experiences are fading I will be able to blog more.... An update on the blog Thursday for sure after Mallory's trial....

See you all - Love you all!!

Coni

Ron has another new truck - I am insane

2007-06-24T12:44:00.001-06:00

OK so here it is - When I awoke Thursday Ron informed me with that little kid that just found a new toy smile that he had bought another truck. Ron works hard, generally isn't crazy and does a lot for the family so I figured - NO BIG DEAL..... Well, that was until he told me that he needed to tow it home........ here we go again....

So he rented a tow dolly from U-Haul and we drove to Loveland yesterday to pick it up, we actually hauled it with a Toyota Tacoma (a fairly small truck) which Ron informed me wouldn't be a problem since the new truck didn't weigh very much... I was afraid to ask "why"...

Then I am thinking - where are we going to put this thing???? Of course like any other redneck hillbilly - IN THE BACKYARD. So I try to find the bright side of this - we can use the bed of it as a swimming pool or I could plant flowers in it - to make it less of an eye sore........ then I am told "No there isn't a truck bed"..... HMMM We already have tires to sit on in the back yard like every good hillbilly does so maybe we can add the seats from the truck; then I am told "No there aren't any seats". So then I start thinking that it must have a hood - that could be used for shade until I am told "there isn't a hood".

At this point I am totally baffled as to WHAT can be done with this new truck........ HERE ARE A COUPLE OF PHOTOS of course taken with it's best sides showing:

OK - so I love my husband and I know he is somewhat of a "Mad Scientist" when it comes to cars but THIS is by far the weirdest purchase. Of course, he is SUPER excited because it only cost him $250.... I am thinking we got ripped off and that it would be more fun to light it on fire for the 4th of July. But I was told "NO" by my psychotic but cute husband......

So I am open to suggestions of what can be done with the beast in my backyard to make it less of an eye sore, here are some other suggestions I came up with:

Cover it with astroturf - of course that won't plend with the brown weeds in the back-yard
Plant roses in it - however, this would draw attention to it (a blind man could see it the way it is now)
Paint it camoflauge - of course the desert colors since I don't have green grass
Light it on fire - and do the rain dance in hopes of turning my backyard green OR the fire department will show up and water my grass for me (only after it caught fire of course)

HELP.

Sincerely,
Wife of a Madman

Cleaning an 8 year olds bedroom

2007-06-17T11:20:00.000-06:00

My daughter Amber thinks she is a princess........ by the looks of her room she is the princess of a hazmat swamp. My other daughter is the princess of darkness (most of her posters say things like: "THE STUPID FACTORY - Where boys are made"). I wish she felt that way since she is almost 16 years old........

Anyway, Amber is off to girlscout camp for a funfilled week of playing with kids her own age (and hopefully not torturing the camp counselors). So I decided it was time to clean her room. Amber has a "thing" for rocks, I didn't realize how big this thing was until I found half of my rock garden piled in her closet - yes folks, she xeriscaped her closet with my front yard.......

I also found many unidentifiable sticky substances, picked up a pink barbie container that exploded in a cloud of pink glittery powder, once the air cleared and I could see the exit I made a dive for it over the 3 trash bags of stuffed animals that were each covered in lipstick and eye shadow. My daughter is Tammy Faye Bakers future make-up artist.

After seeing my barbie pink, glittery face and hair, I decided I was going back in to attack her room. I went in slowly not knowing what was going to attack next - - little did I know that all of the tiny barbie accessories (tiny shoes, hairbrushes and purses) were weapons. So after a brief attempt to continue in my cleaning adventure in Princess Has too Muches room I had to retreat yet again, this time to the first aid kit to find the tweezers to pick a barbie high heel out of my foot, cover it with a bandaid and continue my mission.

After 5 long hours of work it looks the same as when I started but there are 3 lawn and leaf bags full of trash, I have only just scratched the surface....

If I survive this mission I will post more, If I do not please tell my princesses that I went to battle in Princess Has too Muches territory and fought my hardest, hopefully the Princess of Darkness will understand........

Bonding time in Juvenile Penal Court

2007-06-14T21:57:00.000-06:00

Mallory and I decided to spend the day together, enjoying each others presence and the Lakewood Police Department and Court center..... After a few mintes of being there and seeing the other kids and their scary parents, I think she is happy to have Ron and I. We observed that many of the kids were already on probation for other offenses and some of the parents were actually wearing those ankle bracelet things. Some parents were stoic, others crying, others laughing hysterically at the charges their kids committed (most of them were serious). Mallory and I just sat silent, waiting our turn to find out what this deck of jacked up cards is dealing us. She is scared, I am lost and together in that crowd, for once, we looked.......normal.

OK so today was Mallory's court date and after hearing that she would have to be in the Juvenile Diversion Program (Probation) for 1 year, 200 hours community service and $1,000 fine for pleading GUILTY, we decided that we needed to plead NOT GUILTY.

After talking with the DA, she said that if Mallory plead NOT GUILTY that they will go through a pre-discovery phase in which the prosecutors office will talk to the officer as to why he felt the need to write a ticket for deadly weapons given that it was a bottle tossed only 5 or so feet.

I also paid to have access to all documents related to the case and received what the police officer wrote about Mallory on the back of his copy of the ticket. Everything checks out - she had a good attitude, was cooperative and polite and told him that tossing it was stupid and that she was sorry.

THIS IS SOOOOO ABSURD!!!!!!!!!!!!

So now it goes to trial on July 26th, we either have to get an attorney or have Mallory represent herself (that would be interesting.... "Like, I was being on the LD your sir, like I kinda did it, like I don't know why")

Anyway - so we are looking for an attorney just to talk to about it since we only have 1 paragraph of document and a trial, I am not sure we want to retain one...... not even sure how much it would cost for something this pathetic...

It has been a rough day - Amber played Volleyball and did GREAT!!!! Time to rest!!!!!

Pictures

2007-06-10T13:28:00.000-06:00

Ambers Birthday Cake

Amber playing in a tub of water in 30 degree weather, when I asked her if she was cold she said "NO MOM, I am farting to keep the water warm"

This is a picture of our culdesac party - you can actually see the orange balloon streaking through the air (No it isn't an Orb of a dead person)

Ambers Big Birthday Bash

2007-06-10T12:27:00.000-06:00

We had SO much fun with Amber at her party! Some of her friends from her class showed up (which is a first). We had some face paint markers that were a big hit. The adults drew on their own faces with no mirror - by the end of it the adults looked like we belonged to a tribe and the kids didn't have any face paint on them.

We decided to share the face paints with this kids and by the end of the party we made a startling discovery - the face paint is not as washable as the package claimed..... So even after washing our faces some of us looked jaundiced from the yellow marker, burned from the red marker, dirty from the brown marker, bruised from the black marker, sick from the green marker and those unfortunate enough to use the blue marker looked like walking corpses........

Needless to say when the parents came to pick up their multi color tinged children, I think they were a little scared and dismayed.

Then came the water baloon toss and water fight........... Everyone had fun but I kept an eye out for the police since Mallory already has a charge for throwing a "missile" I didn't want the rest of us to get tickets as well :)

We decided to have an impromtu block party complete with food, s'mores, a fire building contest and more.

We have some extremely picky neighbors with no children that seemed a little upset at the mess being made in the culdesac with remenants of baloons, sidewalk chalk, fireworks corpses and wood shavings but they are so damn dumb we told them that it was "National mess up your culdesac day" and they beleived us!

Thank you to everyone that came and made Ambers 9th birthday special!!!!!! Also thank you to those of you that didn't take it personally when Amber whined about no money in the cards, threw the presents and took more than 3 prompts from us to say thank you.......... Isn't she cute???!?!?!?!?!?

Scenic PO'd Car Ride and Scary Neighbors

2007-06-02T22:48:00.000-06:00

Well, Ron and I got up early this morning (12:30 in the afternoon) and decided that since we didn't have the kids we would go for a scenic drive...... It was scenic all right!

It is easy to take in the scenery when your car is having a bad day and refusing to go more than 10mph up hill.... Yes folks, we were those awful people going up a mountain road that your grandma flips off for going too slow....

Imagine - we are driving our TURBO volvo on a two lane road going 10mph...... Of course maybe since the car has misbehaved we could change the word TURBO on the back of the car to TURDO......

I love my car dearly and apparently it want another sensor - the problem is the throttle position sensor....... The strangest part of this problem is that the car has alzheimers and forgets about its wounded sensor until we are on a two lane road in the mountains...... The check engine light goes off when you restart the car.........

We were at least wishing we had blue colored wigs so that people could try to understand that we were old, but we didn't... So we lit another cigarette in hopes that the car would look like Cheech and Chong - at least then people would see all the smoke coming out and think we were high, which is far better than being thought that you are super old or just an asshole......

Anyway - the car shaped up and we drove to a beautiful scenic area to go over a pass that is closed for 2 weeks (Yet again another National Lampoons moment)... We turned around and had a nice picnic next to a beaver pond...

We got home and some lady and her kid came to the door, I could vaguely recall her face and she informed me that she came by a couple of years ago on Halloween (I am thinking - DUH, that's what people do on Halloween). She informs me that she has come by my house a couple of times and we were not home and she sees us out front a lot and wanted to invite us over for s'mores.

After she leaves Ron and I decide that we are uncomfortable with our new stalker friend and wish not to go eat what might be poisened s'mores from the strange lady with the wandering eye down the block..... but we need a cover story as to why we couldn't make it since after all........she might be watching.

We decide to go have pizza to make the story plausible that we had to go somewhere. Although I half expected to find this woman and her demon child on the front porch when I got home, we were safe - ran into the house, turned off the lights, closed the curtains and hid...........

Yes we might be paranoid but we don't like new people, that's why we keep the same friends we had when we were 20 (OH...... and because they are cool).

Will the teenage stupidity EVER stop

2007-05-30T21:32:00.000-06:00

Ok so I just got a call from the Lakewood Police Department, Mallory just got a ticket for throwing a "missile".... This is going down as one of the stupidist tickets in history!!!

She was walking through the Home Depot parking lot and was observed by a Lakewood Police officer picking up a bottle and tossing it on the ground. She didn't damage anything, didn't aim at anything and the bottle was not hers..... OK yes it is stupid but what ever happened to warnings??? She has NEVER been in trouble with the police, nor had a police contact.

Now I get to go to court with her on June 13th, you can't even just pay it, we have to go see a judge.

This seems LIKE A TOTAL WASTE of tax money in my eyes - am I wrong??????????

Teenagers and Punishment

2007-05-27T11:16:00.000-06:00

So Mallory has finished the school year, but she failed a couple of electives. I was trying to calming talk to her about this when she exploded with major attitude. I simply tried to tell her that she totally wasted her time since now she will have to take those electives next year. MAN SHE GOT MEAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She stomped up to her room and I overheard her saying some AWFUL things about me... I have never felt so hurt, some were lies, others I can not even repeat without my stomach turning. So I opened her door and told her to pack her crap, she could move in with her Dad. That stopped her in her tracks, she knew she had messed up.

A typical teenager, she tried everything in the book:

Guilt - "I have had a really tough couple of weeks", "I am trying my hardest" (NOT TRUE), "I am sorry I am stupid, not perfect or a great kid, sorry I don't have better friends."

Emotions - "I love you mom, you're the best" "I am sorry, sorry, sorry".

Basically Ron had to intervene which was strange, Mallory and I generally get along great. Sor we decided as punishment for the horrible things she said, she has to pull all the weeds in the garden in our yard........... She thought she got off easy until she saw it. After working feverishly for about an hour in the hot sunshine she had completed 1 square foot, however, she never complained.

Our reasoning for this approach was that I love this garden but don't have time to weed it, she needed to do something special for me AND we wanted her to experience manual labor since that will be her only job option if she continues down a bad path in school.....

I also explained to her that she did not have to be perfect or brilliant - if she was, I wouldn't like her. I also told her that I love her friends, I just worry that their bad decisions will cause her secondary pain (physical, emotional, etc.). As you saw in my previous blogs her friends have been making some VERY poor choices.

Tranni adventures

2007-05-27T11:05:00.000-06:00

So Ron has been working hard getting the transmission in, we have only had to go to the parts store and dealership a couple of times to get the strangest things I have ever seen. The damn thing is like a chinese puzzle. I have been trying to be helpful but apparently I am not quite Tim the tool mans assistant yet.

When your husband says to lower the red jack while he is under the truck, DON'T lower the black one.
DON'T panic when something doesn't look right in the engine and ask him to crawl out to look at it - the whole thing doesn't look right, it looks more like a life size 3-D puzzle.

So I resorted to doing the girliest things I could to help him:

I "franken-sewed" the seat to the truck that had torn
Washed grease off of parts and bolts (Gross)
Sanded rusty parts
Spray painted parts that were uygly (I would have spray painted the whole truck, but Ron said no).
Tried not to panic when I was in the kitchen and Ron called the home phone from the garage to say "help me", thank god he was not impaled or bleeding, just balancing the transmission on a jack and needed assistance getting tools.
I brewed tea and coffee
Made Food (that didn't make anyone sick)
Attempted to do anything asked to help but mostly I wasn't strong enough to help.

Anyhow - The truck may move in the next day or two, I am excited!! Really - I am excited!

Yet another Car Accident - TEENS!! UGH

2007-05-23T15:41:00.000-06:00

So last Friday I took Mallory to the funeral for the her friend that stole the car and rolled it and died. Well, apparently the death of a friend and bad choices don't change the decisions these kids make. Yesterday I was enjoying some much needed sleep when Mallory came bashing into my room crying because her boyfriend was in a car accident and at Littleton Hopstial. So, doing my motherly duty, I drove her to the hospital and got the details.

He is sore and bruised but not dead (although his parents may fix that) - He was wearing a seatbelt but was driving without a license or a permit OH and somebody elses car.

His passenger was not wearing a seatbelt and hit the windshield, fortunately he didn't die either, but he will have a nasty mess of scars on his face to remind him of his choice to go riding with a wreckless unlicensed driver.

The woman whom the car T-boned's condition is unknown.

So, he will lose his license until he is 18, do some community service and have to deal with the wrath of his parents but at least he is alive. His parents will probably be sued by the lady whom he hit, he will most likely have to pay to replace the friends car and have lots of time to think about what he did.

I wish as a parent we could pick their friends, never let them out of our sight, hug them even when they hate us and more..... I wish that teenagers were capable of rational thought.

The Transmission has landed

2007-05-20T20:27:00.000-06:00

I am SO proud of Ron - He went out to the garage and took the transmission out of the truck. He is excited and so am I. So - those of you with money placed on how long it will be before it runs better start counting your pennies!! :)

Susan's Happy 30th Bash!!

2007-05-19T22:24:00.000-06:00

Ok so you know those super boring adult birthday parties that we all get invited to and dread going to.............. Well, Susan's was NOT one of those. Holy Cow - we had such a good time, the following were some of the highlights:

-Adriennes admission that she has her father's cheeks (not the ones on her face)
-Adrienne commenting on Susan's dads butt...
-Beautiful 3 yr old Andy jr being the dancing queen
-Grisinger Step Father playing his guitar just made the party SO GOOD - wow, I never knew the talent
-Andy explaining that he keeps his wiener in a cage............ actually his wiener dog was in a cage in the bedroom, but it still sounded funny.
-Ron and Amber accidentally kicking the soccer ball over the fence and Margaret retrieving them with wooden pickets of a fence like chop sticks.
-The fabulous cake with a picture of 6 month old Susan drinking a Shlepps beer, although it did freak me out to eat the frosting part of her face.

The whole party was lots of fun, what a great group of people. For those of you that don't know them, I wish you could - they are GREAT PEEPS!

Yo Peeps!!!!

2007-05-19T16:10:00.000-06:00

Ok so Amber is getting into a weird stage........ OK - since birth, but anyway she is calling everyone including Ron and I her "Peeps", I have tried explaining that I take offense to being called a nasty sugar coated marshmellow treat, but she just takes it a step further and explains that if I were put in the microwave I would blow up just like a peep....

Cute huh???

2007-05-17T20:15:00.001-06:00

10 days flew by......

2007-05-17T19:49:00.000-06:00

Ok so I haven't posted in 10 days but here is what has been happening...

Mallory had a friend that died last week... He stole a car, ran from the police, wrecked the stolen car (rolled it 8 times) and died.... Apparently his girlfriend was a runaway (she was also in the car - now gravely injured and missing a leg). He was running from the police because she didn't want to be found - DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB.... Well not only was she suicidal and depressed - now her boyfriend is dead and she is missing a leg.....

So in light of the fact that the only death Mallory has dealt with was her grandpa she didn't quite know how to deal with it........ so she ditched a class..... makes sense right??? NOT...... she ditched class to build a memorial (made out of poster board and cigarettes) in honor of the dumb ass that made the choice to run from the cops and die.... I am not trying to be hard headed but teaching teenagers about choices is like teached a dog to scoop their own poop...

Work has been really crazy - No pun intended.... We have started daking Department of Correction kids and in addition, we got a guy that was "too dangerous for jail".......... how does that happen.

I am getting worried about school - I need to find 3 volunteers to get free counseling during my practicum (6 sessions on the weekends)....... the problem is that it can't be family and the majority of my friends are in New Jersey.

So far, working nights has done my body good and bad - my diet is terrible and I am down to a size 6...... getting close to looking like a 12 year old boy...... anyway - I love you all and I hope to share more with you soon.

Love yall.............. Coni

Whoa relaxing is nice

2007-05-07T19:08:00.000-06:00

OK so I have been reading a lot and playing Princess Peach.... Not much to report. Amber has been attending the Jeff Foxworthy spelling bee......... She keeps spelling out profanities......... She threw out an "F" bomb the other day and my hair almost fell out... I think we can thank her older sister for that one.

Mallory has been driving quite a bit and the other day I was sure she had lost her mind. We were going up a hill on Kipling in my Volvo which is a turbo and she was doing like 20mph... I told her to step on the gas and she said "mom it's floored", OH CRAP - - we crept up the hill and the car seemed to recover. Turns out the throttle system sensor was malfunctioning..... I love my car but DAMN it acts like sensors are dog treats........ when it wants a treat it throws a sensor.

A word of advice to anyone who has a check engine light - ALWAYS take your car to an auto parts store such as Checker or Auto Zone. They will plug a computer into your car and tell you what is malfunctioning, if you take your car directly to a repair shop they charge $100 just to tell you why the light is on!

Anyway - my NOT SO TURBO car has miraculously recovered, my nerves however are another story....

Disconnected - Taking some time

2007-04-29T20:36:00.001-06:00

So I haven't posted in a couple of days....... I have been taking some mental time off....... I decided that digging up dandelions was my new favorite past time.... They are a magical flower, no matter how many of them you remove they magically pop up again.... I think I may become a dandelion florist....... cheap and you can't kill them..... Someone suggested a funeral spray of dandelions - I don't think that I can go there...........

Amber on the other hand has discovered that scissors are her favorite toy now, and just like like the dandelions no matter how many you get rid of, they magically appear. She has trimmed our beautiful slow growing fire bush - just a lot, right off the top.... Then of course she trimmed off my tulips and painted our rock garden pink and blue - Ron was so happy to see the splash of color... NOT!

Mallory discovered that being 7 minutes late for curfew is a bad idea - the whole "we were finishing a movie" doesn't count as a valid excuse.....

Ron has spent a lot of time working in the back yard, he's a good guy..........

Anyway - not a whole lot of exciting stuff going on - THANK GOD!!!!!!!!!!

A day to mourn and remember

2007-04-20T12:10:00.000-06:00

So many people have contacted me today to tell me that we are in their thoughts... Thank you to all, however, I am pushing all good thoughts and hopes to the families in Virginia that have just begun a tragic journey of grief.

As time goes on our life finds an equillibrium between grief and hope that turns to survival and happiness. We must endur the grief to be rewarded with the happiness. I am happy to report that I have made it through the grief and found happiness. However, on this day each year a great sadness becomes overwhelming.

I watch the clock and remember EXACTLY what I was doing 8 years ago at this very moment. The fact that 8 years ago right now - my life was "normal" and the words Columbine were only the name of the school where my dad worked. I also think about what he was doing, feeling prior to the tragic events...

As much as we are in your thoughts today, you are also in ours...

To Dad: Your last words were "tell my girls I love them", to you we say every day "we love you too".....

Sick kid competition

2007-04-18T10:10:00.000-06:00

So I am on "vacation" this week at home and so far Amber was home sick Monday, Mallory on Tuesday and then today (Wednesday) Mallory called and wanted to come home from school. In a moment of selfish irritation I told her that if she was sick enough to come home, she should call an ambulance - not me to come and get her...... I JUST WANT ONE DAY TO STAY HOME ALONE ON MY VACATION..... Yes, this proves that we do have a selfish side no matter how long we have been a mommy...

I am sick too - sick and tired of the kids that think one staying home means the other kid is automatically sick and gets to spend a whole day with mom.

LISTEN UP PARENTS - HERE ARE SOME OF OUR SOLUTIONS TO PARENTING

CHILD HOME SICK TOO MUCH - Take them to a Dr. to make sure they aren't dying like they say they are. If the child (or teenager) stays home or comes home sick during the week, there will be NO MAKING PLANS for the following weekend. Amazingly, the kids hate this idea.

TEENAGER DITCHING SCHOOL - We told Mallory that she can have a car "free and clear" at graduation "IF" she didn't have a single unexcused absence from school until then. If she does have a mishap and ditch a class, the car will be traded in for something for us and she will be on her own as far as a car. MODIFICATION: If your child is not good with long term rewards you can tell them that for every class they ditch it will cost them $500 to the price of the car....

NOT DOING DISHES - We decided that if Mallory did not have the dishes put away by 6:00pm that was fine, but then she also had to load the dirty dishes into the dishwasher. This is working well because it gives her a choice... there are nights where she doesn't feel like doing them until after 6:00 and she just loads the dirty dishes..... it gives her choice and freedom.

NOT BRUSHING TEETH - Although I find the thought repulsive, my daughter Amber does not....... So, instead of paying hundreds of dollars to fill cavaties, we will pay amber twenty five cents per day... YES, $91 per year to keep her teeth from rotting out of her mouth.

We have no other words of wisdom as parenting is subjective and it changes daily.

See you all soon!!!!!

Comments

2007-04-13T07:35:00.000-06:00

Hey all - I changed my settings so even if you don't have an account you can leave comments.... Love you all!! Coni

I bought a sewing machine - OH MY - I am not kidding!!

2007-04-09T20:09:00.000-06:00

Ok so Mallory is taking a fashion class and is making herself clothes. I can only remember my own adventures of making clothes at her age. I was trying to make a pair of shorts and cut the fabric for the front the same size as the back (no room for my butt) and I couldn't sew, so I hot glued them together. To get an "A" in the class we had to wear our garment to school.............. so I did, I safetey pinned the shorts to my shirt because well...........my butt wouldn't fit in them.

Mallory is much more adventurous - she is making a beautiful dress (or so the pattern says).... I felt like I was standing in an auto parts store, since I can't even sew on buttons, the fabric store was just as scary. Sewing on buttons would be the equivilant of changing my own oil.

So, I found a wonderful salesperson who was able to read the pattern, show me what a "hook and eye" was since I thought it was fishing tackle......... By the end of the trip we bought fabric, zippers, other little unknown doo dads and a sewing machine. The sewing machine even came with an instruction video (unfortunately the video doesn't start with how to turn it on or explain why it has what looks like a gas pedal).

So now 3 hours later we have a sewing machine that looks like it went through a tornado of string and I still don't know what to do with the gas pedal (I tried to sit on it, bite on it-still don't know what the hell it is for). We haven't yet been able to put fabric under the little metal gadget.......

It still sounds like fishing stuff - hook, eye, bobbin..........

Anyway, I am sure I will be sewing you each something "interesting" for christmas - Love you all.

Coni

Our Hamster came out of the closet!!!! + Easter

2007-04-08T18:15:00.000-06:00

Happy Easter to all.

Well, the same night we bought a new hamster (more like a miniature ginnea pig) and threw out the old cage......... guess who blessed us with his little spirit............. CHUBBS our dwarf hamster. So he is not dead after all although I am sure his 5 days of freedom could make for a great "Stuart Little" movie.

Apparently Chubbs had gotten into some bedding that was on the floor and collected some food he had thoughtfully stewn on the floor before his escape into the back of Mallory's closet.

So... in the middle of the night Ron had to go buy another cage......... the next day - he yet again escaped......... Guess where we found him - in his condo in the closet..........

So now we have 2 hamsters - one a magical escape artist and the other looks like the giant hamster that will take over the house at any time... damn he's ugly........

EASTER - The day when we wait for a giant bunny to hide eggs - how was this connected to Jesus' ressurection???????

Well we awoke this easter to a fabulous winter storm of which the weather men stated would only be a "dusting"......... We thought it was christmas so we contemplated pulling out the christmas tree and decorating it with easter eggs......

We had a nice time celebrating Easter with the family that could make it......... we did not barbeque hamburgers and hotdogs but my mother saved the day with a ham and so far nobody got sick from it.

The boys spent much time out in the garage staring at the garage princess (Ron's full size toy truck) that looks the same as it did last year, but hey boys are slow right...

It was a great day!! Happy Easter

Mini Vacation and Dead Hamsters

2007-04-01T20:00:00.000-06:00

Wow - what a great weekend.

It started on Friday when I was preparing to leave the house to take Amber my sister in law Shelly and her two kiddos on vacation to Colorado Springs. I went to make sure Mallory's Hamster Chubbs had food. He wasn't in his cage. I called Mallory who was with my brother Zach, Zach says that Mallory saw a mouse in her room and went and got the cat to catch it...... We now know - Mallory "sicked" the cat on the hamster (by accident)................ oops, the cat ate the hamster.

So I leave for the Springs we go to the hotel and have fun eating dinner and swimming in the pool. Saturday morning I go out to the car and start it................... my high tech car says "STOP ENGINE IMMEDIATELY COOLANT PROBLEM"................ Crap......

So I call around looking for a rental car, a repair shop or a priest....... my husband Ron is in Las Vegas and I don't want to bother him with any problems... I finally got hold of a Midas repair shop and they said it is OK to drive it across the street to their shop as long as it isn't overheating. I call my credit card company to see how much money I have available just in case it costs a lot.......... $3,500 should cover it right??

I drive it over, it will be 2 hours to change the oil and check the radiator..... we walk to a Villiage Inn to eat breakfast and plan to go rent a car for the remainder of our trip....... after breakfast we are walking back toward Midas and they call to tell me the car is ready and it was low on coolant, I paid my $60 and was off to continue my mini-vacation. GREAT!

We went to Cave of the Winds (VERY COOL)! We went to go see the movie Meet the Robinson's - I would like to tell you how it was but I think I fell asleep.

Today we went to Garden of the Gods and it was beautiful, if you haven't been there....... you should go!!

Now I am home waiting to go to work for the night............

Love you all!!!!

TO All of my friends

2007-03-23T09:12:00.000-06:00

Not in order of importance of course:

Ellen - you are an amazing person with so much love and strength. You really are a woman to be admired with all you are going through - you are resilient - I love that about you!

Misty - you are the woman of all women, working so hard in law school and making it look easy - that is what olympians do - make the impossible look easy. You are a courageous woman with so much talent. I love you girl!!

Carrie - You are so much a part of my thoughts. You are intelligent, beautiful and a fabulous friend - I love your sense of humor and your ability to be strong. You are incredible!

Marilyn - You are such a great lady! I enjoy your antics about work and marriage (or lack of it). I appreciate you "taking care of me" when there were times no one else could.

Juliet - I really enjoyed working with you, you are so funny - I was happy that you found your true love. I enjoy our fun times at dinner and just being girls.

Leah - Although I don't know you well, I do know that you are strong, funny and have a fabulous sense of humor - Love that!!

Marlaine - Holy moly - you are one great lady, you have so much compassion (even though you are from New York) and you really connect with kids. I know you are making a huge difference in the lives of many - including mine. Your man is one lucky guy...... Good luck with the wedding plans.

Ami - I love the way you cut my hair, hold it out of the toilet when I drink too much (the good old days) and give me a good friend to sling my "crap" at when I am mad. I also enjoy your attempts to teach me to cook and keep me from accidentally killing my family.

Melody - You are a great person to have in my family. You are supportive and kind, but learning to stand up for yourself and what you want. That is huge! You are resilient and wonderful. Love you lots.

Julia & Dano - Oh my the memories, my teenage years were definately interesting but I cannot imagine how different (awful) they would have been without you. Wow - things can change. I think you could qualify for mother of the year, I am really impressed with Sara she is lucky to have parents like you an Dano. Keep up the good work... See you on easter.

Rich & Beth - You have a beautiful family and a great home. I really enjoy laughing with you on the holidays. See you at Easter. Beth - I think it is awesome how much you like motorcycles - I wish I was courageous enough to ride one - but lets face it, I can't even ride a bicycle.

Adrienne - You are hilarious. You are so down to earth, honest and a darn good friend. We don't see each other enough but that's ok - friends are forever no matter how often you see them. You should get Artist of the year.

Daddeo - I really love our talks and listening to your political views. I enjoy our building a bridge over the muddy water of the past. Can't wait to see you again.

Momma Jen - You are such a beautiful lady. Thanks for you laughs and good times. Sorry I always cook salmon.. It is the only recipe I know that doesn't send people to the hospital.

Shelly - I am so happy to have you as my sister (in law) you make me laugh and I enjoy hanging out with you and Chris and the girls. I also love the fact that only you can cure my migraines. Maybe I should call you Dr. Dominy.

Momma Sandy - I can't tell you how much I enjoyed being boiled, baked and beaten with you at the salon. You always give the greatest gifts. I enjoy laughing and playing Wii with you and Mark. I also appreciate all the food you cook; especially since you don't expect me to cook well for you. Thank you for your son!

Cindy - Oh my..... you make me laugh. You are a funny sister, a courageous sister and a good sister. I look forward to many more years of giggles and antique shopping. Love you sis!

Angie - How could I ever repay you for being you! The years of you teaching me to smoke (BURP) and the fun talks. Thanks for sharing your dad with me. We will always be sista's.

Ron - Wow babe - you are the most incredible man. I love the way you love the girls like your own. Love me unconditionally (Since I am far from the "perfect" wife). You accept my quarks and my sleeping habits. You are my rock babe. I love you so much - for ever and ever!!

Dana - I really enjoy having such a cool neighbor - you guys are a great model for good parents, good neighbors and well - DAMN good people. I am looking forward to a summer of fun hanging out with the kids in the cul de sac. Thank for always being willing to loan us weird food items.... It amazes me how you bought the house next door and we have a connection from the past. You are great peoples!!

I really love you all - thanks for being part of my life!!!!!!!!!

What makes us grumpy

2007-03-23T08:40:00.000-06:00

Ok so after more than $50,000 in education in psychology you would think I could figure out why there are times people are just grumpy....

I realized that it is generally my own "stuff" that causes grumpiness. For example, I take the girls to the store and I am in a great mood - I can't wait to re-stock the house with food that didn't expire before my birth. Well, by the end of the trip I am pissed off and really hating life - ALL IN LESS THAN AN HOUR my outlook on life went from great to get me the hell out of here!!

I decided to reflect on my feeling (sorry - I will stop the annoying counselor talk) so I came home and rethought the previous hour. Here is what sent me from great to pissed off in 1 hour flat:

4:30pm - Arrive at the store (Daughter driving, can't park without someone dying so she parks as far out in the parking lot as possible). I tripped over a littered cup on the way in the door, of course quickly scanning to see if anyone was laughing at me.

4:31pm - Get into the store and go to get a shopping cart (They are all stuck to each other like a puzzle - this has got to be a joke) I finally wrestle one free and there is some form of substance (most likely snot from the previous child chewing on the bar). I go to grab one of the nice "free" disinfectant wipes the store offers and the bottle is empty. So I wipe the mysterious snot on my pants EWE!!

4:35pm - We enter the actual store and immediately Amber is asking how much money I have in my pocket because she wants something out of those stupid $0.50 vending machines. I have exactly 50 cents, give it to her, the machine eats one of the quarters and now I have to listen to her whine because she didn't get anything. This is a conspiracy by the store since now I have to buy her a toy or something.

4:37pm - Amber is now off and running with the "can I have this', "mom, you have to see this isn't it cool, "mom, can we buy a drink" OK - so I gave into the can I buy a drink bit. So Amber picks up what she calls "SOAP" which is actually "SOBE", I don't pay any attention, she opens it and starts drinking it. No big deal right.... OK until I actually look at it and it is a HIGH ENERGY DRINK......... OH CRAP!!!!! So less than 10 minutes later Amber is running, jumping and screaming "MOM COME LOOK AT THIS - CAN I HAVE THIS, PPPPPLLLLLLLEEEEEEEAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSEEEEEEE???????

4:47pm - I am starting to lose my mind, Mallory disappeared into the make-up isle which I know will only make the grocery bill go up about an extra hundred bucks.... I am not sure where Amber is but I can only imagine that she is in the bakery taste testing anything not glued shut.

5:15pm - The cart is full of make-up (From Mallory) and junk food (From Amber), my hair is standing straight up and I am looking for the beer isle - I don't drink but I am considering the temporary habit to get me through this damn shopping trip.

5:20pm - I receive the items I sent Mallory to get while I got coffee. Mallory was asked to get "meat" I guess I should have been more specific because I didn't notice her put 2 packages of STEAK, a package of Salmon, some shrimp and a couple of filet mignon's in the cart.

5:30pm - We are in line and Mallory is filling the cart with magazines from the rack (all consisting of the same crap - BRITNEY SPEARS IS BALD. I try to ignore her as I am watching the amount of my grocery bill in shock. Amber is sneaking candy and gum onto the conveyer belt and I am choosing to ignore it.

5:30 and 30 seconds - Oh my god!! My grocery bill just reached $330.00......... I pay less than that a month to drive my Volvo...... I pay and leave the store, get in the car after an argument with Mallory that I wanted to drive because it is my car, I am her mother and I need to get home fast. Her response was "I can drive just as fast as you mom" - - that isn't comforting coming from a teenager.

So there it is- my reflection on why I was SO pissed off when I got home, put the groceries away and realized that we were going to have to eat the following: Gum, Candy, Magazines and make-u[ because the only other stuff we got was steak, shrimp and fish..... I guess we are now on the atkins diet because all we have is meat.

UGH..........

Day 2 - Blog

2007-03-16T20:21:00.000-06:00

Sunday - Well par for my life, my husband Ron is home cooking and caring for the kids and I am sitting in a class clear across town learning about counseling children and adolescents. Wow - I couldn't have found a better wife (Ron).

I have some friends that have offered me some much needed cooking lessons in hopes of keeping my family out of the emergency room on my nights to cook. Kuddos to my dedicated pals!! I also owe a shout out to my friends Carrie and Marilyn - Happy Birthday ladies - I miss ya lots!!

Just a thought for parents - has anyone ever died from having a dirty bedroom or not making their bed?

Keeping in Touch

2007-03-15T22:17:00.000-06:00

OK so I decided to join the decade and begin a blog since most of the communication in our group is now done this way.

Wow - things are tough for lots of people right now. You are ALL in my thoughts!!!!!

Things are going well - Amber spent the evening playing with handcuffs and a toy gun from my play therapy bag (Can you say someone needs some therapy). I finally had to stop the madness when she was shooting sticky darts at the cat....

OH My - a day in the life of a parent with a child that has issues.

Mallory is doing better at driving - we no longer need to wear helmets and neck-braces in the car.... there is hope.

Ron has been doing volunteer work for the elementary school (shhhh he doesn't want everyone to know). He is so awesome - we are coming up on our 5-12 year anniversary (5 officially, 12 illegally) you know what I mean...

Anyway - my love to all.

Coni